She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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