Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
You're a waste of cheezeits
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
