well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
