Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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