And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We need to get me chipped asap
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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