i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
