Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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