At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
3pm strippers are depressing
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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