he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
