I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
