There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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