so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Fuck appropriateness.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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