doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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