Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize
