Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
