would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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