dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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