Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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