This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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