I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
