took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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