'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have feelings that need drinking.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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