I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
