She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
