quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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