whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Dick very happy bro
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
