He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
