I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize