in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
