Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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