doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize