Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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