I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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