Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
