I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize