i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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