Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
