shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I look better un-naked...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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