I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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