just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i need some magic done to my vagina
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
