I love black thongs
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
