no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
