He is an equal opportunity slut.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
