There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
