i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
