I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
