I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
did i just pee glitter
Randomize
