Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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