it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
