No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
