omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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