Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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