Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
