Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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