Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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