that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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