When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
