margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize