All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
