you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
