I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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