God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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